Maximum Mia

It's me. Uncut, raw and rhyming.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Mr_XTC_1022, E-Stalker

I aint even got the patience to rhyme... check it, this XTC dude hit me up online about month ago. My standard procedure is to check out the person's profile, see if he's worthy of an answer from me and go from there. Right off the bat, I read that he doesn't want "thick" (read: fat) chicks.... ok, cool everyone has their preference, I have my own, I never hate on the next man... so I told him he wouldn't like me because I was a plus sized woman. He still tried to come at me cuz I'm pretty.

NO

If you're gonna say you have a preference, stick to your preference. Don't try to change it up for a pretty face... that's just weak. So, I didn't respond anymore after that. A month later this sorry dude is still hitting me up. I told him in the nicest way possible to leave me alone, he still kept coming at me.

I told him please don't make Westside Mia come out... I may live on the southside, but I was raised on the westside... please let me remain calm for Christmas holiday... he told me he liked my fiestyness and we would continue this the next day.

So I got even more fiesty on his ass. WHY CAN'T NIGGAS TAKE NOT ONLY A HINT, BUT A DAMN DEFINITE REJECTION????

copied from my note to him:

Negro, please leave me the FUCK alone...

When I saw you didn't like "fat" girls, that was STRIKE 4 that put you completely out the fuckin game...

strike 1 was: You are not attractive to me
strike 2 was: That ghetto-ass black squirrel coat that every nigga walking up and down Madison st already got FIVE years ago
strike 3 was: You too short for me... I'm 5'10 without heels on.


I told you to leave me alone, it's Christmas time... I tried to be nice.

This is going on my page, you're ridiculous.


Dude posting up cam phone pics in his car, with a big dumb ass shit-eating grin, and a OPOSSUM COAT, DYED BLACK! You ain't fooling nobody with that RAT FUR COAT ON I saw so many niggas rocking them short fur jackets on the westside years ago... I wonder does he have the hat to match.


*makes the sign of the cross*

Jesus please forgive me, it's your birthday... I ain't mean it.


*exasperated sigh*

Mia

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

BRRRRRRRRRRR

It's getting mad cold in the City of Chi,

This season annoys me and makes me sigh.

I haven't been up to much these days of late,

I just wanna cuddle someone and get my Kitty ate.


Ok, I swear I cannot rhyme when it's cold outside.

It's like, the temperature freezes the rhyme part of my brain, so I'm just gonna ramble on for a few. I've been meeting some nice men lately, but they all just seem to lack that pefect amount of swagger that I'm looking for. I don't want a guy who is soooo confident and smug that he's thinks he's perfect for me and doesn't have to try to win me over... then again, I don't want a guy who thinks I'm out of his league and feels insecure that he won't be able to keep me.

It's a tricky balance that a man must maintain to hold my interest. You can't give me everything I want, yet you can't deny me too much.

I'm glad I have my girlfriends to keep me sane during this time. I have some pretty fly-ass sistas who keep me grounded (and constantly keep me up on fashion trends... we some pretty bitches) Even though they don't know I blog or even know where my blogspot site is, I wanna give them some recognition.

Shouts out to

Nikki
Anya
Graciela
Pam
Kisha
Valerie
Ruth
Fumilayo
Nalo
Nikea

aka the "Black Lillies" Ok, Graciela ain't black... but she's passing. LOL

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Mia is back for the Oh Five,

For those who were in need of my rhyming jive.

I've been to hell and back again,

But I'm still fine as hell, a perfect ten.

I'll use this diary to talk about BP,

and the lame ass men that try to talk to me.

Number one is this dude that tickles feet,

He's gorgeous as fuck, had me in heat.

He wanted to see me the other nite,

to tie me up and tickle me til I screamed with delight.

I agreed to meet him and all that mess,

too bad I gave him a fake address...


Can you believe the nerve of this nigga? You actually think I'm gonna let you take out your freaky fetishes on me and I barely know you? Foot tickler Guy, you're fine, but you're not *that* fine. That man lived out in the burbs, I had his ass looking for a address in hyde park that probably doesn't even exist... what a lame!

Moral of the story: Don't try Mia, she is not the one





Thursday, July 17, 2003

I'm Back!

It's been a long time... I shouldnt've left u

without a dope entry to tempt u, tempt u, tempt u....

I broke up with Mr. Vegas, he was simply a jerk,

I kicked him to the curb and the nigga went beserk!

started calling and harassing me at home AND work,

behaving all crazed like a stressed postal clerk.

I can't believe I thought I found love,

and he ended up being a bastard I grew sick of.

So now I'm enjoying my single days,

I treat myself to dinner and buy me pretty bouquets...

I don't need a guy to define my life,

everytime I find good dick it's attached to strife!

For now I'm content to sit and read Cosmopolitan,

and finish my pint of ice cream, flavored Neopolitan.

I'm so fucking clever, it's scary. Ok, so I got rid of Vegas jerk. He was a maniacal liar and apparently a very good one to fool me for all these months. It took me a while to get over because I've got alot of stubborn pride in me, but I've recovered. Now I'm all about self-help, ha-ha. I'm starting to pamper myself even more, making trips to spas, shopping more, working out, looking good... trying to tempt and tease these men out here into desiring something they simply cannot have. LOL

I've decided I'm putting my pussy on hiatus! It's too good to be treated the way I've been treating it, letting all these worthless men experience it's greatness! All the Kegels I've been doing will have to wait for some quality dick to come along. Imagine that shit... I'll probably drain all the cum outta the next man I fuck. LOL Until then, I'm reading Iyanla, Oprah and all those self-righteous heffas to see if I can find some peace without having to get a "piece"... wish me luck, this will be hard on me... I got coupons for batteries, though. LOL

Friday, September 13, 2002

Mia's in Luv!

I know this shit sounds crazy as fuck,

but I think I've been touched by Lady Luck.

I went on a trip to Las Vegas last week,

in search of drinks, fun, food and freak.

I met a guy staying at the Hotel Mirage,

who approached me and offered to walk me to the garage.

I accepted, because it was late,

and I also accepted his offer for a date.

We dined at Emeril's in the MGM Grand,

Did I feel a spark when he touched my hand?

We talked about sex, life and my Mother,

by the end of trip we were in love with each other.

Damn, it's hard as fuck to keep rhyming every gotdamn sentence. It's zapping my brain power.

Ha, I met this nigga from Des Plaines, IL... how the hell do you fly across the country and fall in love with a guy who lives 40 minutes away from you back in your home state? My girls left me stranded at the Mirage, cuz I wanted to see the volcano, but they wasn't feeling that shit. I was walking in the casino, and this cute, tall guy offers to walk me to my car. I accept, but I don't let him know I got my blade in my hand (I'm still from Chicago nukka) So, we walk and talk, I like him he's sarcastic like me. I accept his date like I rhymed above, and I stayed 3 extra days with him. The sex was incredible, platinum dick for real. I made my girls go home without me. I flew back with him last nite and I'm going to go see him tonite at his place. I don't know what to make of all this, I feel giddy and scared, but willing to take a chance and see what might come of this. I know I've never felt this way before about a guy. I know he appreciates my opinions and respects my bold and outgoing personality. Who knows... maybe I just might marry this mothafucka! (I'm only kidding, I'm not that far gone...yet)

Happily,

Mia

Thursday, August 29, 2002

No, Fuck YOU!

Damn... I really need to keep up with this shit.

Ok,

I've finally moved to the city of Chi,

To the boring-ass suburbs, I bid you good-bye.

I got an apt. in the trendy Hyde Park,

Where a chick can walk around safely after dark.

I've been on some dates, but none that impress,

All they did was salivate over me and my slinky dress.

I fucked a few, I'm woman enough to admit,

It's a shame when your dick ain't worth shit.

Ok, stop.

I've been trying to figure out why men think they are God's gift to a woman's pussy. Here's a heartbreaking realistic fact fellas, If you have to ask a woman "did you come?"... she DID NOT!

But I'll tell you something... you don't have to ask me if I came, cuz I will tell you BEFORE you finish, that the job was left undone. You will definitely be giving me an orgasm, whether you like it or not. LOL

I'm such a bitch, but damn... u gotta be sometimes to get what u want.

Friday, May 03, 2002

Bored Bitch Blues (remix)

Since I stopped dancing, I've gotten thicker,

added 8 pounds to my curvy figure.

I'm still cute, so it doesn't matter...

although my wallet isn't getting any fatter.

I've saved enough loot and I'm ready to go

I wanna skip out on the 'burbs and live in Chicago.

I work there and party there but live so far away...

A condo in Chicago, I live for that day.

ok, enuff rhyming.

I found a realtor and now I'm gonna look for a condo in the city. I'm tired of the hour commute to and from work everyday. I'm tired of my stupid apartment and the guy on the 2nd floor trying to flirt with me... This motherfucker has a curly mullet. I don't care if you are part-Cherokee, Nigga you got a curly mullet!. What part of the game is that?

Mia